That's what I have.
Let me backtrack. Two weekends ago I went down to Orange County for a brief visit and on the last night I went out to coffee with my good friend Jamie Bacon.
During our discussion (which are, let's face it, never normal), we progressed from discussing the lifespan of butterflies being one day and applying that morbid fact to the kid's book Hungry Hungry Caterpillar and preparing to tell our non-existent kids about the imminent death of the beloved protagonist TO me telling her about Matt's old coworker who used to order tarantulas online and have them delivered to REI for her to take home. She would leave the boxes or jars or whatever it is tarantulas are shipped in sitting on one of the desks that was shared by the managers.
Can you imagine sitting at your desk and there being a little cardboard box with holes in it and all of the sudden you hear something inside scurry around then poke one of its hairy legs out of one of the holes? I think I would have a heart attack.
After telling Jamie about this we both begin to wonder...where does one even GO to buy online tarantulas? Is there really a market for this?
Anyways, the Thursday after our creepy conversation Jamie sends me a text. She has found a place online where one can buy tarantulas. And not just tarantulas, she informs me. Scorpions, spiders and centipedes are also for sale.
"Wait," I say, "Aren't centipedes poisonous?"
"No," she replies, "I think those are milipedes...BUT THEY SELL THOSE TOO!!!"
Now for those of you out there who hold a soft spot in your hearts for arachnids, (you know who you are...Charissa), I apologize. But this thoroughly creeps me out.
So what did I do as soon as I got home?
Went straight to the website. Kenthebugguy.com
excuse me while i run around pulling my hair and screaming.
that's all for now. more to come later. I promise. I'm just sleepy but i feel its been too long since I've said anything to y'all. nightynight.