Seasons Drink Deep into our Soul: Musings of a new Father

 Living many years in two different cities, San Diego (perpetual sun), Seattle (perpetual rain), we often yearn for the fall crisp mornings of Vermont or the budding spring flowers of Northern California. “The Best Season” for Kaitlynn and I has always been the fall.

Fall to us represents a myriad of images that we imbibe deep and breathe out as new memories. Fall represents the transition of a nature at its peak with glistening snow capped mountains, vibrant green pine and lakes with blue so deep that it pulls down the sky, to its hibernation from cold hard nights of fierce winds that strip trees bare. Yet in that transition comes a beauty of both seasons as an elderly leaf shines brilliant, crisp marries morning, and truth beckons minds to comprehend the beauty of change. This is my mind comprehending the beauty of our change.

Kaitlynn and I fromed a union in the Fall of 2007. In this best season of our life, two histories of two people came together for one day in love to witness and new union in the eyes of God. Three years later the out pouring of that love created a new life despite efforts to delay its creation (we used birth control). The knowledge of this life was put into question as we experienced the scare of a miscarriage. With our hearts in the pit of our stomachs we tensely watched our first ultra-sound. What we witnessed at that moment was a heart beat so strong and fast that it ripped through our being to tell us; “I am a new life and I am full of spirit”.

The name Tatum means “full of spirit” and we knew that this was true from the first moment we lay eyes on her. Keturah, her middle name, means “incense or offering”. This can mean many things to many people. To me it is a representation of the potential and purity of life given through death of one self to the sanctity of the Truth. Kaitlynn more than anyone these past 9 months, has experienced this death of her traditional body to create this new life. The list of the symptoms of this transition can be endless, but a few standouts are arthritic knees, hands so swollen it hurts to pick up a pen, and no medical help for migraines so intense that it is as a hammer pounding a nail into one’s skull for sometimes a week at a time.

As a husband and witness I have seen the beauty of in this transition. I have never been more impressed with anyone who has endured this challenge and maintained the same commitment to being a wife and provider to our marriage. Even more amazing was her resolve through 8 days of carrying a 10 pound baby and a group of anxious family all over the country waiting the newest addition. Yet the ultimate representation of my wife’s strength was her determination and endurance in delivering a 10 pound baby and a 7 pound placenta with not one drop of medication.

The leaves of our lives have turned bright with fire, to fall and create our new best season.