Monday, December 20, 2010

Christmastime and A First Doctor's Visit...

First off, thank you everyone for your encouragement in my last post. It is so nice hearing I'm not the only one who can hardly make it awake through the day, or that other people have had nausea much worse than I'm experiencing!

At this time, I'm at a point where you gotta either laugh or cry. So I'm choosing to laugh, albeit with a tear shed now and then from some stupid sappy commercial that wreaks havoc on my hormone-infused heart.

This Morning Cup is in two portions. The first being for everyone and the latter...well...I think women will get the most kick out of it.  Its about my first visit with the doctor, and I have a hard time believing men have anything quite comparable that they go through.

First off it is Christmas time here and elsewhere, and what would that be without a Christmas tree? I am adamant about having a fresh Christmas tree. No offense to you fakers out there, but there is just something magical about that living tree in your house. And don't tell me to get a ficus.

Our new place being a bit smaller, and the fact that we'll be out of town for Christmas made us realize a full-size tree was not in the picture this year. Luckily my coworker knew of my hunt for the elusive table-top tree, and found the CUTEST one for us!

So here's our mini-tree, complete with far too few lights because I couldn't find the 10 strands I carefully wound and bagged last year, and a doll-sized knitted cap because our star didn't fit just right!

isn't it just the cutest?

And Roy got into the holiday spirit as well...

(he's not waiting for a treat or anything)

Now we're off to pack our bags for our flight down to Arizona to be with my family for Christmas, and I have to say I can hardly wait! My family has a way of blowing Christmas way out of proportion. Its the time of year we all go berserk, blatantly lie to one another about gifts, and think of new ways to take our wackiness to new levels.

If only we could bring Roy Boy The Reindeer...

Moving on to Part II of this post, this one's for the ladies who've had to experience the wonderful times at the OBGYN...

I'm just tellin' it how it is, peoples.

My original appointment with the doctor was for 9:45 this morning. Imagine a large backwards L, with the OBGYN on top, my home at the corner and work at the far end. The plan was to head to the doctor's, then still make it to work with most of the day left. 

Right before I was ready to walk out the door, I got a call that the doctor was currently delivering a baby...could we postpone the appointment? Sure...I said (what was I going to say, no?), and I got to work at 10, only to leave at 12:45 for the 20+ mile drive back around the L. Why there was traffic at 1:15 I have no idea, but after waiting on the freeway offramp for close to 15 minutes I made it to my appointment 5 minutes early.

I had been once before, but just to see a nurse and get a quick shot. Today was the first time I was meeting with the actual doctor. I was shown into a room, my blood pressure was taken, and I was told to undress from the waist down and cover up with this - and was handed a large, paper towel-like sheet.

I did as was told, but then was confronted with a dilemma. See, the paper-towel-thingy wasn't quite big enough to wrap all the way around me. Normally that would be fine, but the way the room was positioned my back was to the door and the first thing whoever came in would see would me my plump rump sitting nudely on the table. 


I fidgeted and tucked and twisted, sure at any moment the door would be opened and the song Fly Me To The Moon would take on a whole new meaning.

Finally I got the thing partway around me, and if I sat caddy-cornered on the table I was mostly covered. So I sat and waited.

Then I noticed the ultrasound that was all prepped and ready to go.

Oh dear.

During the first ultrasound I had a couple of weeks ago everything in the room was so dark I never really got a look around. Now I got to sit next to this for a long, chilly 30 minutes.

And yes that's a condom on there. A straight up Trojan, if you want to know (no pun intended...okay maybe intended).

If you're wondering what that is its a vaginal ultrasound, so they can take a look at the baby up close and personal.

About 15 minutes pass of me flipping through a Women's Day magazine and reading the latest and greatest in metallic lipsticks, when I got curious how long I'd been waiting. And I wanted to take a picture of that thing because it was just too funny to pass up.

Only problem was my purse was on the floor. To get to it I would have to get up, again exposing my backside to the door. I debated and waited 5 more minutes. By then I had had all I could take of that magazine and made a dash for it. I dropped the towel thingy, then it tore a bit, but I managed to get my phone and get my butt back on the table.

Thankfully the door remained closed and I was able to settle back and once again begin the twisting and tucking of the towel to cover my rear. I'm not necessarily an overly-modest person. You're listening to a girl who used to go skinny-dipping in the ocean at midnight and then smoke cigars on the beach. (oh college days...)

But the middle of the night with a bunch of girlfriends and in the stark fluorescent light of a waiting room where a stranger is going to walk in at any moment are two different things.

Finally, almost 40 minutes later, the doctor came in. 

Hi, nice to meet you.  Please spread your legs and put your feet in the stirrups.

Most of you ladies have been there. That cold device they use...blech I hate that thing! Luckily the doctor kept me talking about random things and before you knew it she was done with the exam part and there was a picture of my little munchkin on the screen.

And what do you know, it was dancing a little boogie! It was the cutest thing!

That picture right there made up for the fact that when the doctor left she didn't offer any kleenex up. Oh well, I got to see my peanut dance and it was well worth the bare-butt wait!

'Till next time, I remain your excessively tired and nauseous friend.


  1. Hi,
    Been there... done that! But the way you describe it is priceless!
    love and blessings,
    Mrs. Strang

  2. No one says it quite like you baby girl!! I was laughing hysterically --- especially as I scrolled down the page that slooooooowwwwly revealed the uh... uh... the ultrasound ...thingy
    I about fell off my chair - good thing I didn't read this at work!!! Oh, I gotta go catch my breath. This is going to be such a fUN ADVENTURE with you ... and our little dancing peanut!
    love you,

  3. Congratulations on the baby-- that is so exciting!!!

    Do you know it if it’s a boy of girl yet? It says Y on your ultrasound picture so I thought maybe it’s a boy, but I’m always wrong. :)

    Looking forward to future updates!