Bennett Rae's Birth Story

**Just a disclaimer--this is a no-holds-barred birth story complete with talk of bodily fluids--if you want just the basics read the first paragraph and then you can scroll down to beneath the asterisks to the final portion and the pictures**

******Short version************

On Monday, March 28th I basically did everything in my power to get my body to cooperate and kick into labor. I had my membranes swept, took herbs, used the breast pumped, used oils, got a chiropractic adjustment, had the kids and Roy stay with Ammah so I could relax, vacuumed vigorously, and tried to will my body into labor. By 9:30 I was having regular painless Braxton-Hicks contractions every 10-15 minutes, but nothing strong or uncomfortable. By midnight I was getting tired and was almost ready to throw in the towel and go to bed. I was pretty sure if I did that things would peter out and I would wake up still pregnant. Then I had a few strong and uncomfortable contractions, and one I had to breathe through. I texted my midwife at 12:30, called my mom to come over, woke Matt up and we got the birth pool set up. Only an hour and a half later, at 2:02 am, Bennett Rae came into the world so quickly I caught her myself! She was 21 1/2 inches long, her head measured 15 inches around, and she weighed 10 lbs. 8 oz.! Our biggest baby! We feel so blessed!

*******Long version************

I think Bennett’s birth story started on Thursday, March 24^th. That morning my midwife, Susan, came over and swept my membranes for a second time (something that can naturally bring about labor if the baby is ready), I was having pretty regular Braxton-Hicks contractions (painless, but the uterus “practicing” a contraction…like flexing a muscle), and I had gone to the chiropractor to make sure everything was aligned and ready to go.

Then I went to pick Tatum up from school…and she had caught a stomach bug. I immediately felt my body put on the brakes—it knew another baby needed me more at that moment. It was pretty amazing (even if frustrating) how quickly my body stopped any signs of baby coming because I knew my attention was pulled in another direction.

Tatum was sick for a few days—the longest she’s ever really been down. But we oiled and rested and while we didn’t go to church on Easter morning, but that afternoon she was doing so much better we got together with family and had our egg hunt and Easter dinner. That day I was one week past due—and soooo ready to have that baby!!!

Monday I talked to Susan again and we agreed she would come that evening and sweep my membranes again. All day long I mentally prepared for that baby. I oiled. I did lunges and squats. I snuggled with Kenna and let all those feel-good oxytocin hormones flow. We agreed the girls and Roy would spend the night with Ammah so even if the baby didn’t come I’d have a restful evening. 

But when Ammah picked Tatum up from school I got a call—her fever was back and she complained that her neck hurt. That’s always a flag to look into things more, and I could feel my body shutting down again. But then my mom went over and we think it was more of the full body ache that accompanies the flu, and she’d just had a little relapse from such a big day on Sunday.

So I willed my body to relax. Again, I oiled with every feel-good and relaxing oil I had. I went to my chiropractor again and she straightened me out and hit all the right pressure points to encourage baby (again). I did one last big grocery shop to stock up on necessities. At home I picked up the house, and by the time Susan arrived I was blasting Sia and finishing up vacuuming. She walked in, looking around and nodding and said, “I’m liking the vibe in here” with a big smile.

After she swept my membranes (again) and I was about 5 cm, she left me with herb tinctures to take every 15 minutes for the next three hours, and I was going to use the breast pump for 15 minutes on and 15 minutes off. Not only that, but I oiled up, put the diffuser on, drank some Ningxia Red (cause if I was going to have this baby Lord knows I needed energy), and made myself a protein shake. Then I settled down at 9 to start the herbs and pumping.

I was having some Braxton-Hicks contractions, but nothing uncomfortable or too strong. And really, they would only show up when I would get up and move around. I started timing them around 9:30, and they were between 8 and 15 minutes apart for the next couple of hours. Pump. Herbs. Oil. Pump. Herbs. Walk around. Pump. Herbs. Oils. Pressure points. Pump. Herbs. Oils. Hip dips. Pump. Herbs.

By midnight I still was just having painless Braxton-Hicks, although sometimes they would feel stronger. If you’ve ever been desperate to have a baby you know the crazy feeling of WANTING to feel some discomfort! I was also starting to feel tired. Sometimes the contractions were 11 to 14 minutes apart still—not very encouraging. Matt had gone to bed, and I felt if I just went to bed things would peter out and I would wake up the next morning still pregnant. NOT what I wanted.

I had been watching Downton Abbey, but needed something in the background I knew by heart and would elicit those feel-good hormones. Flipping through our DVD library I came across one of my all-time favorites—Little Women. The 1949 version with June Allyson and Margaret O’Brien. Just the opening music makes me happy, and how appropriate since I was about to bring another little woman into this world. Yup, it definitely hit the feel-good buttons!

Then I had one pretty strong and uncomfortable contraction. Five minutes later, another one that was definitely not comfortable. A Braxton-Hicks two minutes later, and then a couple of uncomfortable ones 5 minutes apart. I was just thinking about calling Susan, when I had one where I had to actually stop and breathe through. I texted her the contraction record at 12:30 and let her know they were getting uncomfortable—and she responded she was headed our way.

I woke Matt up to start blowing up the birthing pool, and called my mom to head over. It seemed odd to get things so prepared with just a handful of uncomfortable contractions, but knowing my body births fast it was better safe than sorry!

I got my earbuds in and tuned into my Hypnobirthing tracks and got in the zone. Susan arrived, followed by my mom and Elizabeth who is also a midwife. Susan and some local midwives team up so there are always two midwives at a birth—one for baby and one for mama if needed. They had started filling the birth pool and by 1 am I definitely knew we were having the baby that night. I was having to breathe through contractions and focus on relaxation.

I attempted the reclined relaxation position described in the Hypnobirthing book but found I much preferred to be moving around. I went through a lot of contractions sitting on the toilet (it helps you relax down south and open up), and then used the birthing ball while kneeling and rocking over it. I used oils to help ease the discomfort, but by then was vocalizing through contractions. I asked Matt to rub my lower back and hips, and after just a couple more contractions I got the urge to push which was quite surprising! I even said, “I feel like pushing!” and Elizabeth was instantly in the room.

They were still trying to get the birthing pool water warm enough to get in—I can’t tell you how badly I just wanted to climb in there! By then I think it was around 1:45…but I was in laborland so who really knows?! I walked across the house to the other bathroom and while in there had a definite pushing instinct and was vocalizing pretty loudly and emptied my bowels. Susan poked her head in with her eyebrows raised and I assured her it wasn’t baby—just poop. Ahhh the filters we lose during birth…

From there they let me know the water was warm enough and I ever-so-thankfully climbed in. I wedged my phone in the cup holder of the pool and swayed back and forth with my eyes closed, willing my body to relax and making whatever noises my body needed to make. There was a whole lot of “Oh Jesus” and a few “Have mercy-s” in there! Pretty soon after getting in (I think the water gave my body a few minutes of a break which was much appreciated), I could feel Bennett moving down, and reaching down I could feel the top of her head and learned that we had another baby with a full head of hair.

Taking a side trail—with Tatum and Kenna I had torn before. Not terribly, and normally it wouldn’t have been an issue. However, getting stitched up with Tatum was excruciating—way worse than pushing her out. It wasn’t until I was getting a couple of stitches after Kenna was born that we realized that my body…for whatever reason…doesn’t respond to lidocaine. You know…the stuff that numbs? Which explains why no matter how much they used, I could still feel the needle and thread going through each time. NOT FUN. So THIS time around I was determined to not need stitches! If you want to talk about what I did prior to birth to help that just let me know. I also oiled (of course), and used oils down south as soon as I knew I was in labor to help soften things up. But back to the birth—I just wanted you to know why this was so on the forefront of my mind…

So I think I said out loud I could feel the head, and as the urge to just push the baby out and get it over and done with was taking over my body, I willed myself to slow down, slow breathing, and I held her little head so that it was slowly coming out. I’m not sure what I sounded like on the outside but I did most of this with my eyes closed and in my head I was very calm and talking myself through it. I still had my headphones on so I’m sure that was helping too. I was on both knees bent over in the water, feeling her head come out, and felt I needed to open my pelvis more to let her birth so I pulled my right leg up so I was just kneeling on my left knee, and as I did that she came out and I pulled her up onto my chest.

Honestly, I was so in shock I had just caught my baby that I just leaned back and took a minute with my eyes closed. Bennett Rae was born at 2:02 am. She came out squalling and announcing herself to the world! Only an hour and a half after I texted Susan. Definitely the fastest labor by far!

When I had caught my breath I got to take a look at my new little girl. Chubby cheeks, dark hair, clearing her lungs quite loudly and covered in vernix. A cute little bum that fit in my hand, fingers long and the nails still a little purple, and I noticed the cord of my headphones disappeared beneath that little body. When Susan took the earbuds out of my ears and tried to pull the cord she couldn’t, so I lifted Bennett a little bit and we saw she had her first tightly wrapped around the cord!

I got out of the pool before birthing the placenta and moved to our bed, that precious little bundle still on my chest. Once there I birthed the placenta, but again had a bit of retained membrane. This happened with Kenna and I had some minor hemorrhaging, and that danged membrane hung on for a couple of hours before coming out. This time we did some things beforehand to strengthen my blood, I took lots of Vitamin K to promote clotting, and cut down on things that could potentially thin the blood. My overall blood loss was about half of what it was with Kenna, and thankfully that membrane came out after 15 minutes or so. And guess what? I had some minor tearing, but no stitches! Hallelujah!!!

*******************************************************************************

Matt and I got some time alone with the baby, and in that time we talked about her name. The front runner for the name from 18 weeks on was Carina, but Matt wasn’t sold on it. I loved the middle name Rae, but at first Matt said it sounded like a boy’s name. Then I suggested Bennett for a middle name. Since the girls are already Palmers, I love the idea of having some of my family name in there as well, then when they’re older they can use Palmer as their middle name if they want—like I use Curran as my middle name now. Bennett is Ammah’s (my mom’s mom) maiden name. Not only that, but when I looked up the meaning and saw it meant “blessed” or “blessing” I felt it was perfect. Not to mention the fact it’s the last name of one of my favorite literary heroines. So we toyed around with Carina Bennett…but still weren’t settled. On Monday while Matt was in class he texted, “What about Bennett Rae?” and I loved it. We still decided to wait and see her face before making a final decision, and seeing those pink chubby cheeks we felt that our surprise blessing’s name was Bennett Rae.

We did the newborn exam and found Benny Rae to be 21 ½ inches long, her head was 15 inches around, and she weighed a very surprising 10 lbs. 8 oz.!!! Our biggest baby! So if you’re pregnant and they’re trying to scare you that your baby is too big to birth naturally—take heart! I’m only 5’4” and this big baby has been the easiest recovery!

Thanks for reading this novella. I love births and love talking about them, so if you have any questions at all please feel free to ask!

We really thought we were done with our two girls, and I feel like God whispered, “but you don’t know what you’re missing” and gave us a surprise. Our hearts are thankful, even though I know we have a lot of challenging days ahead. For now, I’ll just get back to snuggling this squish and smelling that newborn head!

Taking a minute to catch my breath

She had a pretty good grasp on the cord!

One proud daddy!

She was already sucking on her fingers

So lucky to have Susan as a midwife!

So blessed!!

Tatum's Eleventh Week and TLC's Biased Baby Story

Tatum is eleven weeks old!

This is the face she makes when she wants to sit up. You can almost hear her making the noise that Scrat the squirrel makes in Ice Age when he's reaching for the acorn...

I had to snap a couple of pics while I was setting up the fabric, because Roy and Tatum were both sitting up and watching me...

And we got her a Bumbo seat last week to help her sit up since she was NOT happy being either on her back or tummy or in the bouncer all the time.  She wants to be UP and see what is going on!  That can get a little hard on the arms, so this lovely device was welcomed in our house!

On to another subject:

Since moving to Oklahoma and temporarily living with my parents, I've had the luxury of being able to record and watch my favorite reality show--"What Not To Wear" on DVR.  Somehow I've managed to live the past year and a half without it, and just love the snarky comments by the hosts!

After the show, "A Baby Story" comes on so I usually see the previews and first few minutes of the show.  After two and a half weeks of watching this, I have to say how frustrated I am with such a narrow view of birth being presented.  

Y'all know how I gave birth to Tatum, and my thoughts on natural birth and birthing centers.  I'll say again that those are my choices, and they may not be the best choice for you.  I have nothing against hospital births, epidurals or C-sections as long as the mother making the decisions is adequately informed.  

And "A Baby Story" is far from giving a balanced, informational portrayal of births.

Every day the preview goes something like this:

Little background of the mom and dad. Smiling.  Holding hands walking in a park.

Labor starts (dum dum duuummmm).

Mom screaming in pain in labor.

Will she get to the hospital in time?

More screaming from mom.

Will the doctor get there in time?

Shot of the worried dad.

The baby's heart rate dropped--can they get him out in time?

Crying shot of mom

Shot of some nurse running.

One parting scream with some creative camera zooming.

In two and a half weeks I've seen only one attempt at a natural birth, and she couldn't handle the pain and went with an epidural.  Every description of un-medicated labor is "torture," "my belly ripping apart," or "unbearable." All of them have been in the hospital.  About 80% of the women were given pitocin. Every single one I've seen had an epidural. And quite a few were given emergency C-sections.

Now let's say you're pregnant.  And, being into everything baby, you watch A Baby Story every day.  How do you think this would shape your view of labor and birth?  From just watching it I would say:

1. Labor must be too painful to manage on your own.

2. The hospital is your only option in where to give birth.

3.  Labor is scary stuff.

Not a very well-balanced view of labor.  We're not a society where women are present for other women's labors and birth. In other cultures, its mothers and other women and midwives who witness and support other women during birth.  You would grow up seeing your mother, sisters, aunts give birth.  Consequentially, when it came time for you to give birth, you would have real life examples for what to expect.  If you learn from this reality TV-show, your view of labor and birth would be quite biased because its just that--a TV show.

And good TV is drama.
And drama =  money.

I just checked the TV schedule and did a few quick searches.

In 70 episodes, there was 1 home birth.  2 water births, one was "rethought." 5 mentions of "couple wants a drug-free birth," but 4 of them "rethought" it.

Not exactly a ton of variety there.

The number one question I get when people hear I delivered a baby that was half an ounce shy of ten pounds without drugs is "Didn't it hurt???"

Well, yeah.  A lot.  Not gonna lie there. And yes, there were moments I was scared.

But you know what?  It was totally doable. I had my moments of weakness where my midwife looked me in the eyes and helped me pull it together, but overall it wasn't as scary as I thought it was going to be. And I'll do it again, Lord willing.  In fact, I'd rather go through labor than a week long migraine!


So come on, TLC, and show some more natural births.  More birth centers. More home births. More midwives.  More water births.  Because while medicated hospital births are the majority in this country, there are other options.

Seasons Drink Deep into our Soul: Musings of a new Father

 Living many years in two different cities, San Diego (perpetual sun), Seattle (perpetual rain), we often yearn for the fall crisp mornings of Vermont or the budding spring flowers of Northern California. “The Best Season” for Kaitlynn and I has always been the fall.

Fall to us represents a myriad of images that we imbibe deep and breathe out as new memories. Fall represents the transition of a nature at its peak with glistening snow capped mountains, vibrant green pine and lakes with blue so deep that it pulls down the sky, to its hibernation from cold hard nights of fierce winds that strip trees bare. Yet in that transition comes a beauty of both seasons as an elderly leaf shines brilliant, crisp marries morning, and truth beckons minds to comprehend the beauty of change. This is my mind comprehending the beauty of our change.

Kaitlynn and I fromed a union in the Fall of 2007. In this best season of our life, two histories of two people came together for one day in love to witness and new union in the eyes of God. Three years later the out pouring of that love created a new life despite efforts to delay its creation (we used birth control). The knowledge of this life was put into question as we experienced the scare of a miscarriage. With our hearts in the pit of our stomachs we tensely watched our first ultra-sound. What we witnessed at that moment was a heart beat so strong and fast that it ripped through our being to tell us; “I am a new life and I am full of spirit”.

The name Tatum means “full of spirit” and we knew that this was true from the first moment we lay eyes on her. Keturah, her middle name, means “incense or offering”. This can mean many things to many people. To me it is a representation of the potential and purity of life given through death of one self to the sanctity of the Truth. Kaitlynn more than anyone these past 9 months, has experienced this death of her traditional body to create this new life. The list of the symptoms of this transition can be endless, but a few standouts are arthritic knees, hands so swollen it hurts to pick up a pen, and no medical help for migraines so intense that it is as a hammer pounding a nail into one’s skull for sometimes a week at a time.

As a husband and witness I have seen the beauty of in this transition. I have never been more impressed with anyone who has endured this challenge and maintained the same commitment to being a wife and provider to our marriage. Even more amazing was her resolve through 8 days of carrying a 10 pound baby and a group of anxious family all over the country waiting the newest addition. Yet the ultimate representation of my wife’s strength was her determination and endurance in delivering a 10 pound baby and a 7 pound placenta with not one drop of medication.

The leaves of our lives have turned bright with fire, to fall and create our new best season. 

41 Weeks and Counting

Seriously?

41 weeks and 2 days here.

Are we done yet?

We went to have a fetal non-stress test yesterday, and when asked if Tatum was still moving around I replied definitely. The nurse asked how long it usually took to feel 10 movements and I said, "Usually around 20 minutes if she's awake," and the nurse looked at me doubtfully.  After strapping the fetal monitor on my belly (which made me really really grateful that if I'm in the birth center I won't be having that thing strapped on me the whole time), she handed me a little clicker and told me to hit it every time I felt her move.

By the time the 20 minutes were up I had hit it 15 or 16 times...yup...she's still full of spirit like her name means!

Since we were there we had a biophysical profile (ie another ultrasound).  Personally I wasn't worried about Tatum's not having enough amniotic fluid or her size (seeing as she's still moving so much), but we were there and thought "Eh, why not."  Selfishly I was hoping to get a sneak preview of her face, but she's sooooo low we couldn't get that. We could tell she was holding her hands in front of her face--so Miss T you'd better drop your boxer stance before heading south!

It turns out the level of amniotic fluid is just fine, she's practicing breathing and still wiggling like a monkey, and  their guesstimate for her weight (with a wide margin for error) is 9lbs 3oz! 

This morning we'll be visiting with my midwife and hopefully get the green light for a few new tricks to try to get things going in the labor department.

By the way, if its been suggested, I've tried it with the exception of castor oil which my midwife wanted to wait on since she has seen a lot more meconium (baby poo) in the amniotic fluid (not a great thing since the baby can inhale it) with moms who use castor oil to induce labor.  

I know intentions are good, but I've tried every easy, odd and crazy thing to bring about labor so far, so please no more suggestions.  Little Tatum is just letting us know she's got her own timeline and isn't one to be pushed around (until she's in a stroller).

Hopefully this will be the last pre-baby post and next time you'll see a picture of our little one's face!

How NOT To Talk To A Pregnant Woman

In the past few months I've had some things said to me that just stop me in my tracks and make my jaw drop.  For the most part, God's had grace on the people who've said these things and I've mostly smiled politely, but I thought I'd offer up a nice little tutorial on pregnancy etiquette--for those pregnant ladies you know and especially those pregnant ladies you don't know. I also know I've been guilty of saying some of these things too, and to those pregnant mommies I've said any of these I'm so sorry!


 I've asked a few friends to throw in what bothered them the most as well, so here you have a guide:

What NOT to Say to a Pregnant Woman

1.  You're HUGE!

I've gotten this a number of times, most recently from the lady behind the bakery counter at Safeway last Saturday.  I didn't see her at first, but according to my mom she saw me and made a beeline all the way around the counter and came in front to give me this lovely complement.  


Here are a few response options:
(in the same surprised voice) You TOO!!!
Actually I'm having a pony.
Watch for me on the next Biggest Loser!


 As my mouth hung open trying to think of what to say in response that was semi-nice (thank you?!), she added...

2. Are you having TWINS???

No.  I am not having twins. I'm growing a person in my belly. So never, ever ask if a woman is having twins...if she is she will tell you. (I've gotten asked this 3 or 4 times too, by the way). 


Optional replies:
No, obesity runs in my family.
I believe in healthy babies
Actually I have a tumor.


3. This is the biggest I've ever seen you!


Again, what do you say in response to this? Thanks so much, you either! 


 A friend who was told this (at her baby shower) would have like to have said: you try being pregnant in the middle of the summer with 90 degree weather and 70 percent humidity carrying a cantaloupe in your belly!"


4. You look like you're about to burst!


Yes, that's what happens to pregnant women.  We just pop. Or burst. Or blow up. Or explode like a time bomb. Or my personal favorite, "You look like you're ready to spawn!"  To their defense these men were fishermen...but still...spawn?


Try saying:
Then you'd better stay back, you might get splashed with amniotic fluid (I did use this one...)
I'm not a zit and I don't pop.

5. OH MY GOSH....[fill in the blank]...


Just refrain from starting any comment to a pregnant woman like this.


6.  Get your rest now...while you can!


Personally I've been able to sleep great this pregnancy (which I think I owe all to a memory foam mattress), but I know a lot of pregnant woman who ended up sleeping so much better after their baby was born because they could sleep comfortably again! The thought that sleep might be worse after the baby is born is almost unbearable! 


This goes for dads too, I think.  Matt is normally a super-deep sleeper, but the past week or so he wakes up every time I roll over or get up to use the bathroom.  He's trying to get his rest, but I think reminding him he's going to be getting less soon is just added pressure.






Now that you know what NOT to say, you CAN say...


You look GORGEOUS!


You have so much to look forward to!


You're all baby!


You're just glowing!


How many weeks are you? (whatever she says, respond: You look juuust right!)




Anything along these lines is appreciated. 


So there you have it--a brief tutorial to help you determine how to talk to  pregnant woman.


And here is a pic of Week 40...and yes I know I look like I'm about to pop. 

What were/are your biggest pet peeves of things people would say to you during pregnancy?

Come Monday Morning...

Friday was my last day of working in an office.

Which feels very odd.

I felt like I was saying goodbye, have a good weekend and see you Monday, when come Monday morning (if Tatum hasn't come) I'll wake up and...drink a cup of coffee with my family. And then maybe take a walk. And then a nap.

It'll be the first Monday morning since I graduated college 5 years ago that I don't get up and get dressed and go to work without it being a holiday, vacation or me being sick. These people I've worked with and talked with and laughed with for 40 hours a week for 2 1/2 years are suddenly people I'm only going to be chatting with on Facebook or the occasional office visit when I bring Tatum in. Its a very weird feeling, and sort of sad.

I'll still be doing some work from home, and Lord knows being a mom is a full-time job, but I'm in that odd limbo-state where its kind of like a vacation but not really.  Luckily I'm not one to sit around and be bored--there's still Tatum's quilt to finish, I've got a few stories that have been put on the back shelf for awhile that I'd love to dust off and work on, and I might actually get the patience to sit down and learn how to use Dreamweaver finally (I'm getting really sick of that banner up there, aren't you?)!

My due date was today and unless I have one of the fastest labors in first pregnancy history it looks like she won't be coming today...

But maybe she'll come Monday morning...

Transparency

Welcome to my 150th Post!

I used a tool that converted all my blog posts into a photojournal book, and it was well over 300 pages long!  So, Dad, when you ask if I've been writing lately the answer is definitely YES--that's a novel in 2 1/2 years!

A good friend sent me a great post from the blog It's Almost Naptime on “How To Be A Perfect Mom” and I just really loved how honest the mom was in saying that when looking at her three-week-old baby she wanted to scream “What do you want from me you little monster?”

I love down-to-earth posts like that. Some blogs I read make it sound like the mom has everything under control and nothing ever goes wrong (which we all know is just flat out impossible).

Photo by Marília Florêncio Santos

In looking back over my blogs, I hope I’ve been as transparent as that honest mom and continue to be as we embark on this new adventure of parenthood.

I’m certainly not the perfect wife, daughter, sister, or friend. I think I’ve shared enough embarrassing stories on here to make that clear! Sometimes, though, I leave out certain details just for the sake of humor.

Like the last story where I kept sneezing and peeing.  What I didn’t tell you was I also had a migraine and by the time I left was on the verge of tears. I thought I’d have the drive to Issaquah to recover and get a grip, but then I saw Matt pass me on the way to the house and I realize that I must have missed his call (while sneezing) saying he’d meet me here. I turned around and pulled up behind him, rolled down the window and snapped at him to pull forward since we were taking his car, got into the passenger seat and promptly burst into sobbing “I’M SO SICK OF BEING PREGNANT!” Poor man, he just stroked my hair and (completely bewildered at what caused this outburst) assured me it was almost over and everything was okay.

My house is certainly not always clean (or even picked up), my food is not always beautiful and/or delicious (ask Matt about my attempt at homemade enchilada sauce...yuck), and I don’t get up at the crack of dawn to spend time with the Lord like I know I should. I feel accomplished if I remember to turn on the Daily Audio Bible on my way to work, or read a few verses and journal a short prayer right before I go to bed.

 

So in case there've been any delusions that I've got this whole how-to-handle-life thing down, I certainly do not. I'm living by grace day to day, and its nice to read other people's posts that remind me that I'm not the only one relying on His grace.

 

  Minor note on the side, I started reading Gifts from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh again last night, and had forgotten how beautifully and simply and truthfully it is written.  Its a short, small book, and if you need some soul balm its a great one to keep around.

Humorous in Hindsight + Week 38

I've been trying to write this story since the fourth of July but was enduring a week long migraine which made everything I wrote seem depressing instead of humorous.  This is meant to be humorous, so I've just had to wait.

Oh, and while I thought that we got pictures of my belly on my birthday for Week 37, it turns out they were all from the neck up...oh well.  Here's Week 38...where I'm past the point of wearing maternity pants because  Miss Tatum is riding so low! So I'm pretty much relegated to dresses, skirts and stretchy leggings until she is born.

On to the situation that was at the time beyond aggravating but in hindsight still makes me laugh.

Since being pregnant I've had this lovely side effect known as rhinitis of pregnancy.  Its where my nose runs constantly and I sneeze probably 20 times a day on a good day.  Lately, I'm not sure if its just worsened or combined with allergies, but I've been getting sneezing attacks where I'll sneeze repeatedly for 10 or 20 minutes. Combine that with a 6.5 lb baby and 6 lbs of uterus, placenta and amniotic fluid resting on my bladder and its not a good combination.

On the Fourth of July I was going to meet Matt after he got off work in Issaquah, and together we'd head to the fireworks show. I was right on time, was dressed and only had to put on mascara and get the room ready for Roy and head out.  I had half an hour to do this.

Then I started sneezing.

And when I sneezed, I peed just a teeny bit.

So I changed my undies, put a liner on and went to apply mascara.

Aaa-CHOO

Psssss

I changed the liner, and went to try to put the old sheet on the bed (there's no keeping Roy off while we're gone) and let my eyes stop watering when...

Aaa-CHOO

Psssss

I sighed and changed the liner again, and got half the sheet on the bed.

Aaa-CHOO

Psssss

This time I had to change my undies again, and got one more corner of the sheet on the bed when...

Aaa-CHOO

Psssss

Changed again and got the other corner on the bed

Aaa-CHOO

Psssss

Now these weren't just 'dry' sneezes.  These were filling-up-two-kleenex-of-snot-sneezes. I made it back to the bathroom and managed to put mascara on one set of eyelashes when

Aaa-CHOO

Psssss

You ladies who've sneezed with fresh mascara know that it smears everywhere when you sneeze, so I wiped that up and...

Aaa-CHOO

Psssss

Changed my underwear again and this time managed to keep the sneezes at bay until I had done both eyes and they dried. Thinking this sneezing attack might be over I went to find Roy's kong to fill with peanut butter and...

Aaa-CHOO

Psssss

I changed my underwear again, got the kong and went for the peanut butter and...

Aaa-CHOO

Psssss

AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

Roy just kept cocking his head from side to side and looking at me like I'd lost my mind.  I filled the kong with peanut butter and got halfway to the bedroom and


AAA-CHOOO
Pssss

This went on for 45 minutes before I could get out the door with mostly dry panties and only semi-smudged mascara.

Who ever heard of being late because they were sneezing? Admittedly it sounds ridiculous, but that's how my afternoon went. I only showed you ten sneezes but in that 45 minute span I probably sneezed at least 40 times.  I thought I was going crazy! And it is pretty humorous when you think about it.

At least the fireworks were good!

So next time you sneeze, be thankful you don't have a watermelon pressing your bladder!

Week 36, Birth Centers and Water Births

Update 2/1/2012: I did in fact have a natural water birth on August 2nd. You can read about my experience HERE.  Words of encouragement to moms considering it: natural childbirth is DOABLE! I will be having a water birth with baby #2 if it means at home in a tub!


This face says:

 How many more weeks of this?

Hormones are beginning to make my joints loosen up, so I find myself waddling whether I like it or not. I sound like a walking advertisement for Rice Krispies because when I roll over in bed or get up my bones snap, crackle and pop! Last night when I turned over my hip popped so loudly it startled Roy awake!

And this pregnancy rhinitis stuff? Yeah, I'm ready to not be sneezing 15 times a day and constantly looking for a kleenex with a runny nose. Look closely at the preggo pics and it looks like I'm always just on the verge of tears...isn't that lovely?

I asked my midwife today about having a migraine during labor (since mine are hormone-related and my hormones will be going wacko), and she said that of the (literally) thousands of women she's helped through labor, she's never seen one with a migraine during labor...even those who have hormonal migraines like me. So that was great news! (knock on wood)

Also, because a few of you have asked about it, I'm giving birth at a birth center and will most likely have a water birth. A lot of people I talk to about this have never heard of doing such a thing (babies have to be born in hospitals, right?), so I thought since I have this platform of blogging I might as well use it to help people learn that there are other options for how to give birth. 

Let me be clear that I'm not saying this is the BEST way to give birth, this is just the option that I've chosen for myself. 

I don't think epidurals are necessarily bad, and am thankful for modern medicine because C-sections have saved lives.  But when I first found out I was pregnant I hadn't even thought about a birth center, and the prospect of labor so scared me that my "all natural" plan for that "one day" childbirth went right out the window and I was ready to be strapped in a bed and pumped full of as many drugs as it took to not feel anything. The more I read and researched, though, the more I learned about childbirth and all the options, and that is what I want to share with you.

A lot of people I've talked to ask, "What is a birth center?"  A birth center is a place where you can give birth in a home-like environment. You're free to walk around, be in the shower, be in the tub, be on a birthing ball, or be wherever and however you like while going through labor. 

Here's a picture of one of the two birthing suites at Eastside Birth Center, which is where I'll be:

Yeah, that's a giant tub in the corner.

At a birth center they don't induce labor, try to hurry a labor up, and usually you're home between 3 and 4 hours after delivering the baby. Fetal monitoring is intermittent with a Doppler, as opposed to being strapped to a machine the whole time.  You're allowed to eat and drink as you wish during labor as well--which is a heck of a lot better than ice chips! There are no drugs for pain relief other than a local analgesia to suture tears in the perinium, and there are very few epistiotomies done.

I meet with two certified midwives, one who is also a Naturopathic doctor (N.D.).  Each meeting is between 35 minutes and an hour, and is a lot less formal than when I met with either the OBGYN or nurse midwife I saw through the same OBGYN clinic before I switched to the birth center. At the birth center I sit on a sofa across from the midwife and a midwife student (rather than perched on an exam table), and we actually chat about how things are going (rather than "any questions? No? Great, bye!"). They take a lot more time to palpate my belly, talking to Tatum as they find her back and head and feet. I feel like they're connecting with Tatum as well as me before she's even entered the world. And she's a baby...not a fetus. :-)

The midwives are equipped and have the experience to handle most complications for both the mother and baby.  While C-section rates at the hospital down the street from the birth center are 34% (basically one out of every three babies), they are less than 3% for those who go to the birth center (a C-section would require a hospital transfer, which in this case would only take from 4-7 minutes).  While birth centers aren't for everyone (like if you're having twins or have pregnancy complications), they are a very safe hospital alternative for healthy pregnancies. 

The whole philosophy of midwives or a birth center is that birth is a normal process, not something that needs to be "fixed."

If you want more general information about birth centers, you can visit the American Association of Birth Centers website. Here is a good page that helps describe what is different about Birth Centers than hospitals.  Most insurances cover birth centers, and overall the cost is about a third of what it would cost to give birth in a hospital (so really your insurance should be thanking you!).  

Also, if you want a brief history of how American women transitioned from home births in the early 1900's to making hospital births and epidurals the status quo, The Business of Being Born has a great recap on that. You can also stream this movie on Netflix.  It was this movie that had me first start thinking that maybe I could do this thing without an epidural, and from there led me to taking birth classes with Liz Chalmers at Birth Zone and eventually to Eastside Birth Center.

As far as water births go, I think most people now know what that is. 

You have the baby in warm water--usually around 100 degrees.


I was listening to a podcast by Barbara Harper today, founder of Water Births International, and she was saying she's found references to water births that go back to the 1700's and 1800's. In fact, one of her grandmother's medical textbooks from the very early 1900's states that "a labor in which the mother is not in a warm bath should be considered abnormal." 

 

There are a lot of benefits to laboring in a warm bath. Here's the short list:

• Water creates weightlessness that will provide support and require less energy from the mother during the birthing process.
• Warm water creates relaxation, which will mean less pain for the mother and a reduced amount of adrenaline and anxiety.
• A warm bath helps increase the levels of oxytocin produced, which is the “love hormone” that causes contractions and the cervix to dilate.
• Water births naturally decrease the blood pressure of the mother and the blood supply to the placenta is increased allowing improved oxygen to the fetus.
• Immersion during labor will position the mother in such a way that the fetal decent is quickened.
• The newborn will have an easier transition from the womb into his or her new world.
• A baby going from a warm womb to warm water to its mother's chest is a less traumatic experience for an infant than a birth in a cold hospital room.

A lot of people worry about the baby breathing under water, and HERE is a great list of why babies don't.


I plan on using the tub during labor, and if I happen to stay in during the delivery great--but nothing about birth can ever be set in stone! All I can do is have my preferences and be flexible.  I think I've covered a good amount of basics, and hopefully maybe peaked your interest in other birthing options as well. To close, here's the trailer to The Business of Being Born (and don't discount it because Ricki Lake produced it, like I almost did!)

went on a YouTube bunny trail and now I want to see this too...

Weeks 34/35

I'm not sure how my belly can get any bigger! My belly button is stretched to the max, but thankfully hasn't popped out as of yet! Call it vanity, but I'm glad...

Anyways, here was week 34 taken on an afternoon walk on Mercer Island



And wow, dresses may feel super-comfy during pregnancy but it sure looks like I donned a tent and headed out! It looks like I could house 3 backpackers and their gear under there!

And this is from this morning, now at 35 1/2 weeks:

Sadly I've had to take off the ring I was wearing on my ring finger to stand in for my wedding ring. My fingers and toes (and wrists and ankles and everything else) are swelling up. What joy.  Still not seeing what some women love about being pregnant...for me its been versions of sick, sicker, or just under the weather with some weird other symptoms thrown in. I'm hoping that the saying easy pregnancy = hard labor and visa versa holds true!

Tatum is running out of room to move around, so she's taken up cycling and boxing while in the womb. It feels like when a cat massages you with its front paws, but inside my belly.

punch punch punch punch

Maybe its the fightin' Irish in her...

In regards to what life looks like for the Palmers post-Tatum, everything is still in the air. We had thought Matt would apply for Greenville, SC, but that's looking to not be the best option for us now.  I thankfully have a husband who's priorities are spending time with me and our baby girl and getting to see family over just making the most money he can.

So we're weighing a few other options and continuing to pray to see where God wants us to be. It feels like it changes every week, and has been a long waiting game...it would be nice to get a little clarity! I don't need to know the next 5 years, God, or even the next 3...but it would be nice to know about the next 3 months :-)