Tatum's First Week

Tatum Keturah Palmer was born on the night of August 2nd, at 8:52 in the evening. 

She weighed 9 pounds 15 1/2 ounces (after 2 poos), and was 21 1/2 inches long. 

I'll post the birth story later, but here are a few of our favorite pics from this first week of her life.

our midwife Chris, who was awesome

Tatum's going home outfit

Grandma Beth and Grandpa Dave

Nonnie

did I give birth to a sumo wrestler?

first bath time--and she did awesome!

no tears at all!

sunshine time

is she just the sweetest thing you ever saw?

yes, why yes she is.

big eyes!

introducing my newest blog topic...

while holding her elbows, she's ready for a Russian jig

love the cross-eyed look.  we'll be using this for her graduation photo one day...

cutest butt ever

Popeye impersonation

And we're blatantly copying an idea from the Young House Love blog--weekly photos of our Tater Tot!

Stay tuned for the whole birth story, and a blog post from the Roy Boy's perspective.

Seasons Drink Deep into our Soul: Musings of a new Father

 Living many years in two different cities, San Diego (perpetual sun), Seattle (perpetual rain), we often yearn for the fall crisp mornings of Vermont or the budding spring flowers of Northern California. “The Best Season” for Kaitlynn and I has always been the fall.

Fall to us represents a myriad of images that we imbibe deep and breathe out as new memories. Fall represents the transition of a nature at its peak with glistening snow capped mountains, vibrant green pine and lakes with blue so deep that it pulls down the sky, to its hibernation from cold hard nights of fierce winds that strip trees bare. Yet in that transition comes a beauty of both seasons as an elderly leaf shines brilliant, crisp marries morning, and truth beckons minds to comprehend the beauty of change. This is my mind comprehending the beauty of our change.

Kaitlynn and I fromed a union in the Fall of 2007. In this best season of our life, two histories of two people came together for one day in love to witness and new union in the eyes of God. Three years later the out pouring of that love created a new life despite efforts to delay its creation (we used birth control). The knowledge of this life was put into question as we experienced the scare of a miscarriage. With our hearts in the pit of our stomachs we tensely watched our first ultra-sound. What we witnessed at that moment was a heart beat so strong and fast that it ripped through our being to tell us; “I am a new life and I am full of spirit”.

The name Tatum means “full of spirit” and we knew that this was true from the first moment we lay eyes on her. Keturah, her middle name, means “incense or offering”. This can mean many things to many people. To me it is a representation of the potential and purity of life given through death of one self to the sanctity of the Truth. Kaitlynn more than anyone these past 9 months, has experienced this death of her traditional body to create this new life. The list of the symptoms of this transition can be endless, but a few standouts are arthritic knees, hands so swollen it hurts to pick up a pen, and no medical help for migraines so intense that it is as a hammer pounding a nail into one’s skull for sometimes a week at a time.

As a husband and witness I have seen the beauty of in this transition. I have never been more impressed with anyone who has endured this challenge and maintained the same commitment to being a wife and provider to our marriage. Even more amazing was her resolve through 8 days of carrying a 10 pound baby and a group of anxious family all over the country waiting the newest addition. Yet the ultimate representation of my wife’s strength was her determination and endurance in delivering a 10 pound baby and a 7 pound placenta with not one drop of medication.

The leaves of our lives have turned bright with fire, to fall and create our new best season. 

41 Weeks and Counting

Seriously?

41 weeks and 2 days here.

Are we done yet?

We went to have a fetal non-stress test yesterday, and when asked if Tatum was still moving around I replied definitely. The nurse asked how long it usually took to feel 10 movements and I said, "Usually around 20 minutes if she's awake," and the nurse looked at me doubtfully.  After strapping the fetal monitor on my belly (which made me really really grateful that if I'm in the birth center I won't be having that thing strapped on me the whole time), she handed me a little clicker and told me to hit it every time I felt her move.

By the time the 20 minutes were up I had hit it 15 or 16 times...yup...she's still full of spirit like her name means!

Since we were there we had a biophysical profile (ie another ultrasound).  Personally I wasn't worried about Tatum's not having enough amniotic fluid or her size (seeing as she's still moving so much), but we were there and thought "Eh, why not."  Selfishly I was hoping to get a sneak preview of her face, but she's sooooo low we couldn't get that. We could tell she was holding her hands in front of her face--so Miss T you'd better drop your boxer stance before heading south!

It turns out the level of amniotic fluid is just fine, she's practicing breathing and still wiggling like a monkey, and  their guesstimate for her weight (with a wide margin for error) is 9lbs 3oz! 

This morning we'll be visiting with my midwife and hopefully get the green light for a few new tricks to try to get things going in the labor department.

By the way, if its been suggested, I've tried it with the exception of castor oil which my midwife wanted to wait on since she has seen a lot more meconium (baby poo) in the amniotic fluid (not a great thing since the baby can inhale it) with moms who use castor oil to induce labor.  

I know intentions are good, but I've tried every easy, odd and crazy thing to bring about labor so far, so please no more suggestions.  Little Tatum is just letting us know she's got her own timeline and isn't one to be pushed around (until she's in a stroller).

Hopefully this will be the last pre-baby post and next time you'll see a picture of our little one's face!

How NOT To Talk To A Pregnant Woman

In the past few months I've had some things said to me that just stop me in my tracks and make my jaw drop.  For the most part, God's had grace on the people who've said these things and I've mostly smiled politely, but I thought I'd offer up a nice little tutorial on pregnancy etiquette--for those pregnant ladies you know and especially those pregnant ladies you don't know. I also know I've been guilty of saying some of these things too, and to those pregnant mommies I've said any of these I'm so sorry!


 I've asked a few friends to throw in what bothered them the most as well, so here you have a guide:

What NOT to Say to a Pregnant Woman

1.  You're HUGE!

I've gotten this a number of times, most recently from the lady behind the bakery counter at Safeway last Saturday.  I didn't see her at first, but according to my mom she saw me and made a beeline all the way around the counter and came in front to give me this lovely complement.  


Here are a few response options:
(in the same surprised voice) You TOO!!!
Actually I'm having a pony.
Watch for me on the next Biggest Loser!


 As my mouth hung open trying to think of what to say in response that was semi-nice (thank you?!), she added...

2. Are you having TWINS???

No.  I am not having twins. I'm growing a person in my belly. So never, ever ask if a woman is having twins...if she is she will tell you. (I've gotten asked this 3 or 4 times too, by the way). 


Optional replies:
No, obesity runs in my family.
I believe in healthy babies
Actually I have a tumor.


3. This is the biggest I've ever seen you!


Again, what do you say in response to this? Thanks so much, you either! 


 A friend who was told this (at her baby shower) would have like to have said: you try being pregnant in the middle of the summer with 90 degree weather and 70 percent humidity carrying a cantaloupe in your belly!"


4. You look like you're about to burst!


Yes, that's what happens to pregnant women.  We just pop. Or burst. Or blow up. Or explode like a time bomb. Or my personal favorite, "You look like you're ready to spawn!"  To their defense these men were fishermen...but still...spawn?


Try saying:
Then you'd better stay back, you might get splashed with amniotic fluid (I did use this one...)
I'm not a zit and I don't pop.

5. OH MY GOSH....[fill in the blank]...


Just refrain from starting any comment to a pregnant woman like this.


6.  Get your rest now...while you can!


Personally I've been able to sleep great this pregnancy (which I think I owe all to a memory foam mattress), but I know a lot of pregnant woman who ended up sleeping so much better after their baby was born because they could sleep comfortably again! The thought that sleep might be worse after the baby is born is almost unbearable! 


This goes for dads too, I think.  Matt is normally a super-deep sleeper, but the past week or so he wakes up every time I roll over or get up to use the bathroom.  He's trying to get his rest, but I think reminding him he's going to be getting less soon is just added pressure.






Now that you know what NOT to say, you CAN say...


You look GORGEOUS!


You have so much to look forward to!


You're all baby!


You're just glowing!


How many weeks are you? (whatever she says, respond: You look juuust right!)




Anything along these lines is appreciated. 


So there you have it--a brief tutorial to help you determine how to talk to  pregnant woman.


And here is a pic of Week 40...and yes I know I look like I'm about to pop. 

What were/are your biggest pet peeves of things people would say to you during pregnancy?

Come Monday Morning...

Friday was my last day of working in an office.

Which feels very odd.

I felt like I was saying goodbye, have a good weekend and see you Monday, when come Monday morning (if Tatum hasn't come) I'll wake up and...drink a cup of coffee with my family. And then maybe take a walk. And then a nap.

It'll be the first Monday morning since I graduated college 5 years ago that I don't get up and get dressed and go to work without it being a holiday, vacation or me being sick. These people I've worked with and talked with and laughed with for 40 hours a week for 2 1/2 years are suddenly people I'm only going to be chatting with on Facebook or the occasional office visit when I bring Tatum in. Its a very weird feeling, and sort of sad.

I'll still be doing some work from home, and Lord knows being a mom is a full-time job, but I'm in that odd limbo-state where its kind of like a vacation but not really.  Luckily I'm not one to sit around and be bored--there's still Tatum's quilt to finish, I've got a few stories that have been put on the back shelf for awhile that I'd love to dust off and work on, and I might actually get the patience to sit down and learn how to use Dreamweaver finally (I'm getting really sick of that banner up there, aren't you?)!

My due date was today and unless I have one of the fastest labors in first pregnancy history it looks like she won't be coming today...

But maybe she'll come Monday morning...

Transparency

Welcome to my 150th Post!

I used a tool that converted all my blog posts into a photojournal book, and it was well over 300 pages long!  So, Dad, when you ask if I've been writing lately the answer is definitely YES--that's a novel in 2 1/2 years!

A good friend sent me a great post from the blog It's Almost Naptime on “How To Be A Perfect Mom” and I just really loved how honest the mom was in saying that when looking at her three-week-old baby she wanted to scream “What do you want from me you little monster?”

I love down-to-earth posts like that. Some blogs I read make it sound like the mom has everything under control and nothing ever goes wrong (which we all know is just flat out impossible).

Photo by Marília Florêncio Santos

In looking back over my blogs, I hope I’ve been as transparent as that honest mom and continue to be as we embark on this new adventure of parenthood.

I’m certainly not the perfect wife, daughter, sister, or friend. I think I’ve shared enough embarrassing stories on here to make that clear! Sometimes, though, I leave out certain details just for the sake of humor.

Like the last story where I kept sneezing and peeing.  What I didn’t tell you was I also had a migraine and by the time I left was on the verge of tears. I thought I’d have the drive to Issaquah to recover and get a grip, but then I saw Matt pass me on the way to the house and I realize that I must have missed his call (while sneezing) saying he’d meet me here. I turned around and pulled up behind him, rolled down the window and snapped at him to pull forward since we were taking his car, got into the passenger seat and promptly burst into sobbing “I’M SO SICK OF BEING PREGNANT!” Poor man, he just stroked my hair and (completely bewildered at what caused this outburst) assured me it was almost over and everything was okay.

My house is certainly not always clean (or even picked up), my food is not always beautiful and/or delicious (ask Matt about my attempt at homemade enchilada sauce...yuck), and I don’t get up at the crack of dawn to spend time with the Lord like I know I should. I feel accomplished if I remember to turn on the Daily Audio Bible on my way to work, or read a few verses and journal a short prayer right before I go to bed.

 

So in case there've been any delusions that I've got this whole how-to-handle-life thing down, I certainly do not. I'm living by grace day to day, and its nice to read other people's posts that remind me that I'm not the only one relying on His grace.

 

  Minor note on the side, I started reading Gifts from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh again last night, and had forgotten how beautifully and simply and truthfully it is written.  Its a short, small book, and if you need some soul balm its a great one to keep around.

Humorous in Hindsight + Week 38

I've been trying to write this story since the fourth of July but was enduring a week long migraine which made everything I wrote seem depressing instead of humorous.  This is meant to be humorous, so I've just had to wait.

Oh, and while I thought that we got pictures of my belly on my birthday for Week 37, it turns out they were all from the neck up...oh well.  Here's Week 38...where I'm past the point of wearing maternity pants because  Miss Tatum is riding so low! So I'm pretty much relegated to dresses, skirts and stretchy leggings until she is born.

On to the situation that was at the time beyond aggravating but in hindsight still makes me laugh.

Since being pregnant I've had this lovely side effect known as rhinitis of pregnancy.  Its where my nose runs constantly and I sneeze probably 20 times a day on a good day.  Lately, I'm not sure if its just worsened or combined with allergies, but I've been getting sneezing attacks where I'll sneeze repeatedly for 10 or 20 minutes. Combine that with a 6.5 lb baby and 6 lbs of uterus, placenta and amniotic fluid resting on my bladder and its not a good combination.

On the Fourth of July I was going to meet Matt after he got off work in Issaquah, and together we'd head to the fireworks show. I was right on time, was dressed and only had to put on mascara and get the room ready for Roy and head out.  I had half an hour to do this.

Then I started sneezing.

And when I sneezed, I peed just a teeny bit.

So I changed my undies, put a liner on and went to apply mascara.

Aaa-CHOO

Psssss

I changed the liner, and went to try to put the old sheet on the bed (there's no keeping Roy off while we're gone) and let my eyes stop watering when...

Aaa-CHOO

Psssss

I sighed and changed the liner again, and got half the sheet on the bed.

Aaa-CHOO

Psssss

This time I had to change my undies again, and got one more corner of the sheet on the bed when...

Aaa-CHOO

Psssss

Changed again and got the other corner on the bed

Aaa-CHOO

Psssss

Now these weren't just 'dry' sneezes.  These were filling-up-two-kleenex-of-snot-sneezes. I made it back to the bathroom and managed to put mascara on one set of eyelashes when

Aaa-CHOO

Psssss

You ladies who've sneezed with fresh mascara know that it smears everywhere when you sneeze, so I wiped that up and...

Aaa-CHOO

Psssss

Changed my underwear again and this time managed to keep the sneezes at bay until I had done both eyes and they dried. Thinking this sneezing attack might be over I went to find Roy's kong to fill with peanut butter and...

Aaa-CHOO

Psssss

I changed my underwear again, got the kong and went for the peanut butter and...

Aaa-CHOO

Psssss

AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

Roy just kept cocking his head from side to side and looking at me like I'd lost my mind.  I filled the kong with peanut butter and got halfway to the bedroom and


AAA-CHOOO
Pssss

This went on for 45 minutes before I could get out the door with mostly dry panties and only semi-smudged mascara.

Who ever heard of being late because they were sneezing? Admittedly it sounds ridiculous, but that's how my afternoon went. I only showed you ten sneezes but in that 45 minute span I probably sneezed at least 40 times.  I thought I was going crazy! And it is pretty humorous when you think about it.

At least the fireworks were good!

So next time you sneeze, be thankful you don't have a watermelon pressing your bladder!