Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Birth Story from Roy's Point of View

(Note from Mom: in case you missed it, Matt posted his thoughts as a new father HERE, and you can either scroll down or click HERE for the birth story and pictures)


You've heard a lot about me, but I've kept my peace until now.

I'm Roy. AKA the FIRST baby.  Please do not forget that. I've accepted this new addition to the pack but I want it understood that I was here first. Got it? I'll keep reminding you as needed.

I've known something's been up for awhile now.  Mom smells funny and either she's been eating far too much or there was something else going on with that belly of hers.  So I stepped up the guard duty.  Personal escort for 3 am bathroom trips, I made sure her feet were always warm, and despite the fact that her walking duties were seriously shirked I still followed her around incessantly and let her love on me as needed.

Two weeks ago I was on the bed in between her and Dad, and I could sense something was different.  She wasn't sleeping, and didn't seem to appreciate my attempts to lay on her legs. She got up and I, being a good dog followed her into the living room where she and that person who sounds just like her but looks a bit different and calls herself Nonnie started working on a puzzle. 

I tried to find a place to lay next to her but she kept pacing which just aggravated the heck out of me. Can't she stay still and let me do my job?  After awhile they went outside for a walk (I even heard them say the word!) without me.  What gives?  Who does she think is going to take care of her out there?  Surely not that Nonnie person! I waited by the door until they got back.

When they did get back, Dad got up and then things started to get interesting.  Mom was groaning and walking around and I tried to stay by her but she seemed rather irritated and kept almost stepping on me, so I lay down and just watched her with alert ears.

Eventually they left me in my bedroom and rushed off somewhere, which really had me worried!  After a few hours the upstairs neighbors came and got me, but how could they expect me to calm down? Something was happening to my Mom and I was not there to supervise! I paced the floors until they showed me a picture of a teeny person (I think it was a person).  So that was it...Mom had a puppy.  Knowing all was well, I laid right down.

More time went on, though, the neighbors went to sleep and still Mom and Dad weren't home. Something delicious smelling came from the laundry room...it was right at my level too.  It seemed to smell like old goat cheese and was wrapped in a white cloth-like thing with elastic and tabs and placed in a low bucket.  I decided to treat myself to some dessert.

When Dad came in to find me he was not too happy about my choice of a midnight snack.  He kept saying something about a "dirty diaper" and could hardly stand to be within a few feet of me. He took me outside, grabbed some spray and rags and headed back upstairs. 

Then Nonnie came down with a big plastic thing held up by a handle that she put on the kitchen table, and Mom followed slowly being helped by that lovely friend of hers who knows how to scratch a butt really well.  I bounded up to Mom but she recoiled instantly shrieking, "GOOD LORD YOUR BREATH!!!"  Not exactly the reception I had planned.

They finally let me back inside and I sniffed that small person-thing once or twice but was more excited my people were back to give me the attention I deserved.

I must have done something right because they gave me a big Kong filled with peanut butter, muttering something about "masking the smell." They all finally went to sleep and would you believe it? Mom and Dad wouldn't let me in the bedroom! They said I stunk too bad to be in a small space!  And so I paced from their door to Nonnie to Charissa and back to the door until finally Mom opened the door and let me in and then opened a window.

Something was making squeaking noises from that mini-bed,  but I couldn't see over the rim.  Mom finally pulled this little bundle out and laid it on the bed with her so I took a few more sniffs.  Hmmm.  Not to sure on that one, but maybe she'll be gone in the morning.  Seeing everyone was okay, I went to sleep.

The next morning those wonderful people who own my best friend Cooper came and picked me up and I got to spend a whole day and night with them.  The day after when they brought me home I was beyond tired, and that little person was still around and Mom was still holding it.  This kinda irked me.  What was I, chopped liver? Actually in my case that would be a good thing, so what was I? Chopped cucumber?  I decided to give them the cold shoulder.  All day when either of the females called me I just ignored them. Slept with my back to them, didn't even look at them.  

That got pretty old, so I acquiesced the next day and returned my full attention, and figured since the tiny thing was still around I'd better get used to it and guard it as well.  The hardest part is trying to keep my eyes on everyone at once--one in the living room, two in the bedroom--I pace all day long! Do they know how tiring that is?

So now I've accepted this little person is staying.  I do my part and check her out each time I come back from outside or they take her out, sleep by her swing, stay on Mom's side of the bed when the baby is asleep with her and all that good stuff.  

They tell me just wait until she's old enough to start dropping me cheerios and playing with me...'till then I'll have to just keep reminding them that I'm the FIRST baby!


  1. LOL I loved this post. I'm glad Roy has come around.

  2. This is exactly how Cana handled Shiloh 20 years ago.........

  3. That is adorable! And I especially love the last photo. :)